the invincible sword

yesterday I was given a news that I need to rearrange my life. I'm now need to be different and those people have expressed their confidence with me. today I get a headache. may be that sword is now hung on my head. really, suddenly I remember about the story when a friend of a king wanted to be a king. he was given the opportunity. and in one night he left the throne. he saw that sword: a sword which will fall unto the head whenever the king make a mistake.

who want the sword?

tight life

I'm heading a very tight life where I got pressed by work, workers, family and financially. I seeking for a way out now. There's no light at the end of the tunnel yet. Not yet. But I will never forget that in the darkness of the tunnel, I know I'm standing on a solid foundation called family. I need to get the light back. I need.

bigger role

I was shocked when there was fine story of me given a bigger role. My role in the family is already a very big responsibility. I don't know. I hope I can be much bigger in handling the bigger roles.

restarting...

yes, it has been a very long time since my last writing. my last writing was on teacher. today, I still have sort of problem with the group of people who was given the opportunity like no others - to teach our kids on being a human being. that's is a very tall order.

it was a very busy month of June. very busy indeed. after I was given a very difficult time of choosing, I ended up with being lack of time. but again I need to keep on writing. that's how a civilisation flourish. I must find time to write. must...

value of a teacher

I went to my kids' school to get a glimpse at my kid's exam paper. the result was announced but the exam paper was not returned back. so I went there to get the clear picture on the weakness of my kid. after telling the teacher that I want to see the exam paper, she replied "why? you don't satisfied with the result?". what the heck...? so these negative-thinking teachers are moulding my kids! no wonder each and every day the social problems become bigger and bigger.

if you found that a government is corrupt (in a democracy world), you can vote them out. but if the (government schools') teachers are corrupt, what should you do?

value of life

a couple of days ago, there was a small gathering of old boys. I attended and met the old friends after more than two decades. at our age, we talked much about life. we wondered if our life is just resolves around wealth - which is highly unlikely.

but deep in out heart we know the answer. and the answer is known to all commoners. and it's not about wealth of things.

counter offer II

now I'm bombarded with offers. I get a second counter offer from my current employer. life is getting tough here.

my prospective employer promised me a higher pay (and more after confirmation) and freedom in deciding things. but the place will be a little bit further. I'm in the middle of charting my future steps when the second offer came that offer me a higher pay starting next month. but the draw back is it'll be still on contract basis.

what say you?

Japanese and nuclear energy

so after months of living without nuclear power, one of the municipals decided to reignite the juice. really human becoming depending heavily on the system that they themselves create. what a paradox. we created useless paper money and then we strangled within the system. the Europeans created eurozone and now entangle inside the web.

it is no coincidence that thousands years ago a group of pagan commoner created some sort of demi gods. then they worshiped the same idol that they carved. then some clever-than-average guy came and claimed that he could talk to the stone. and the commoners became slave forever.

we might be modern, but are still the stupid commoners.

dependency and moderation

there are two events this week that showed how too dependency is not good. one is the news that a city council in a Japanese city is going to reignite its nuclear reactor. then we have the news of how delicate it is to handle the crisis in Greece.

we should start to think to moderating ourselves.

cities of the world

one by one, cities of the world fall into chaos. from my count, we have Tunis, Cairo, Tripoli, Damascus, Sanaa. Last time we saw chaos in the capital of Bahrain. Baghdad and Kabul both have years of disorder. Athens had also plagued into unrest. now Moscow follows.

all are important cities of the world. perhaps the events lead to something bigger.

counter offer

my current employer is now lay on the table their counter offer cards. not so lucrative, but worth to consider. it's hard to be a commoner. we never now the outcome of our decision.

because the outcome will always in somebody else control.

long weekend

it has been a very long weekend. with a very important decision was made. today is the execution day. I have finally carried it out it as other commoners do.

anywhere and any time, a commoner will be depressed. will be depressed.

commoners plead, again

it's once more the commoners plead day today. again they go to the street. again they ask for their right. again the establishment asks for the proof that the commoners right were robbed. again ...

it's will go on again and again ...

camping

one of my kids went for a camping today. although we got a very short notice on the event, but I felt that any of my kids should be given opportunity to try their best in every angle of life.

let them do it. let them learn what we missed.

Greece and the commoners' barter trade

about a couple of weeks ago, I came across the story of how a town called Volos in Greece facing the economic difficulties. they had invented a barter trade system; but in the modern form. the story is very inspiring  where the people, reinvent themselves.

in my country, there was a group which introduce gold as a 'quasi currency'. the group was sometimes threaten by the authority that what it was doing was against the law. yes, another 'against the law' warning by the authority. it was despite that the head of the government in the past had said the 'the era the government knows better is over'.

it is the real people who feels the real pain. and when these real people want to ease their pain in their 'legitimate' way, those big brothers intervened.

it is painful to be a commoner. you're holding a double edge sword.

health check

one of my body functions stopped from its work today. I went to see a doctor and he gave several medicine. but on the way back I just keep on thinking - no matter how small the function of any mechanism in our body, we will suffer.

so keep your health checked and be grateful.

olympic 2012 - challenge

I've seen several pictures on venues of London's Olympic. immediately I remember how India was criticized for their preparation for Asian Games. and I still remember how one of the readers of an online news company suggested all to take the critics as a challenge. now I couldn't remember exactly the words that the reader said. but it was certainly can make us to jump and work.

such a power of words!

kids grow up

yesterday my kids went for a seminary. they seemed so happy when they arrived at the pick up point. their friends were already there. and they were so ready to spend a day together. they would travel on bus together, eat together, chit chat all by themselves. one day they will eventually leave home and our life will once again quite.

until then, just enjoy the time with them.

birthday

yesterday was a birthday of one of important person in history. he started as a man with lesser characteristic. then he turned into a charismatic one. I still intrigued by the transformation.

and I share the same birth date with the person.

intellectual discussion

we had an intellectual discussion on construction contract today. it was a heated one but quite fruitful. it had been a long time since I involved in a discussion where no one will say "I had the experience in that matter before. you're wrong".

advising session

an interview session I attended yesterday turned into an advise session by the sole interviewer. strange. wait for the outcome.

interview

I'm going to be interviewed again tomorrow.

just wait.

wonderful world

my second child is very excited she will be taking part in a school activity tomorrow.

they have such wonderful world to explore. they will learn more than I will ever know. good luck for our children and their tomorrow. as a parent, we should nurture this. do not ever taint their dream and vision.

wanted II - a new beginning

I received a phone called from an organisation asking me to see them next week. this will be another junction of so many junctions in my life. when my younger kid born at the time I left my home to work far away from home few years ago. I gave her a name which means 'the light of a new beginning'.

this may be another beginning that may end in yet another new beginning. but I hope the end of this beginning will be in 'the light'. regardless whether the end is a new beginning to another road or I finally reach a final road. but, let it be in 'the light'.

to the journey

being a leader

yesterday I had a chance to join a quality meeting chaired by one Project Manager. don't get me wrong. this project manager is managing a USD billions worth of project. his style of conducting a meeting, commanding respect and solving problems reminded me to someone else. she's a president who headed a yet another multi billion investment & development company. I worked in the company previously.

their style are strikingly similar. their focus are cannot be shattered. their skill of solving a problem is above others. they think out of the box. they trust their people. they both have a very clear direction of the way a project to be drove. and so on...

now I started to understand why my first boss, who's believed his 'on an auto-pilot mode of motivation' is a flawed leader.

diary of a father XX - every child is special

early last month I wrote about everyone is special. then I watched a movie about every child is special. they are special indeed. each of my children is very unique. the youngest of them is now developing speech skill. and I noticed that she add her hands as another communication tools! I wonder where did she learn that.

it is such a wonderful world!

natural writer

last two days my 7-year old daughter had switched her ambition from to be a scientist to a writer! writer! out of the blue, she writing a her first story today - I'm a flower. she picked the title and she's writing it.

keep on writing my kids.

wanted

I was wanted by this one organisation... wait for the rest!

like stars on earth

sometimes we need to take another different, strange road to see a same thing but from different view. the title above is actually a film title. it's about a kid. really it teach me something. I rarely watch movies. but if I find one that has deep meaning, I'll sit and think.

this is such an art that I can sink in.

and it is all about celebrating difference.

passing of time

it's already April 2012. time goes by just like that. but when our money is depleted, we feel it deeply. it's a paradox. we really feel it when our money flow out of our pocket. but we have different feeling when time passing by; even though no power in this world can replace time.

loss of time

it has been almost a month since my last writing. it was a loss that can never be replaced. time can never be replaced nor borrowed. it will keep on going.

diary of a father XIX - every one is special

I was invited to my kids' school. there was a speaker from local university who talked about children development. there was a phrase that I never heard before - 'developmental delay'. a lot of questions were answered. everyone has their specialty and that person must be given the opportunity and support.

the next day I was drawn to watch a TV movie about dyslexia kid. I seldom spend a long period of time watching movie. except is the movie really worth to watch. again the story really tried to portray how every human being is unique. that person has specialty and need to be given opportunity and support.

I guess I was given that opportunity and support. it's other's turn now.

the ghost of the past

today I met with an old friend, very old. he's doing quite well, and I believe a little bit better than commoner like me. he still remember some bad old stories that I really wanted to erase. perhaps no one can ever left behind his old stories. never.

until you closed your eyes.

rainbow

I watched this double rainbow with my kids. when I was a kid, we were afraid to point at rainbow. it was because, according to old folks, one might lose his finger if he point to the rainbow. I wonder why did the story surface?

atlantis

this is good. just like the Atlantis but this is real. as an engineer, I kept thinking how this could happened. it is beyond my understanding so its better for me to say nothing.

picture says a thousand words, they say.

infinity in future II

again, in this picture sea is infinite. if you can walk in straight line, you will end up at the same spot that you started. for my kids, remember that no matter how far you walk, please look back. look back to your basic, your fundamental, your root.

you won't be lost.

infinity in future

according to this picture, there is an infinity. my kids too have infinite future. of course there several stations that they need to stop. and of course there is going to be a final stop. but before that, let the kids rolling but guide them. like how the rail is guiding the train.

guide them wisely.

Greece and the bankrupted democracy V - unity government

Greece is facing yet another crucial moment. the politicians are debating while commoners riot. the commoners said they're no longer can stand the 'austerity' plan. seemed that again history is repeating itself. the one in power will pressure the commoner. but I believe, in this case the one in power is not the ruling people.but it is somethign else.

teachers' corruption II

uh, there was a corruption case involving a university lecturer. basically, if you want to increase your marks, then just pay! it was just an old story.

I've wrote in this blog how a senior civil servant proudly and innocently announced that his son received government sponsorship. he claim that it was his right since he's a civil servant. how corrupt was that statement! it was so corrupt.

Syria, 'Don't Talk to Strangers' by Dio

when TV news aired the picture on Syria conflict, my kids asked why people behave as such. I believe I've told them the answer before. so this time I commented that even a leader who supposedly protect his people, hate his people. to the extent to injure (and even kill) them. so I advice my kids to take precaution on other persons.

just like what Ronnie James Dio said

Don't talk to strangers
'Cause they're only there to do you harm

- 1987

colourful week

this week was one of the most fancy and colourful. I learnt about the many faces of corruption;

some are crime some are not
some involve exchange of material while some just destroying your future
some can be brought to justice but some just a hiss
some can destroy a nation and sometime it is you alone
some killed rapidly some fuel toxicity

you have just picked one!

lies

Ok, one man lied to me. he said something about another man. I felt he's cheating. but he has a deformed face that will always show a smiling face, under any circumstances. so today I confronted this man he had lied about. outright, he denied it. he asked who drummed up the story. but, stupidly, I declined to reveal the name. my response was "from an acquaintance". that was stupid. really.

I was amused by the way the man lied to me. didn't he ever think that the truth will finally prevail.

there you go. he's as stupid I am!

moral corruption

another form of corruption that will never be tried is moral corruption. consider a teacher who systematically sidelines a vocal pupil. the kid only voiced out whatever she feels right. after all, she's learning. then this teacher becomes irritated and, using her 'power', abusing the kid, mentally. the kid was sidelined: by ignoring her, flushing out the kid from her class, and who know what else can the teacher do.

the teacher is corrupted. but no law will prosecute her.

teachers' corruption

sometimes I wander that teacher has a very low possibility in fall into the trap of corruption. isn't it? well, after 5 Feb 2012, it is not. a teacher submits himself to corruption if he does not fulfill his duty. his duty is an utmost one: as a 'mould' for the next generation. in our society, teacher used to have a special position. but slowly teaching becomes only a way of earn a living: to drive fancy car and to wear expensive cloth. they no longer guide a son or a daughter about life, but just 'teach' them numbers and facts. they systematically chose pupils who are already excel (academically), to be excellent (academically). leaving the more needy to, I don't know where. when these kids revolt, they will be known as criminals.

negligence is corruption but not a crime. because a legal system says so.

religious corruption

a news broke last week that officers in a quasi-religious agency which handles pilgrimage, asked for money in return for express pilgrimage. what the heck! coincidently, two weeks ago a colleague in my office proudly told that he has relative in the agency that might lend his hand. my response at that point was, what a corruption.

all this reminds me to a phrase in a film directed by our country most coveted film director, "you are SO corrupted!". it's not only corrupted, but SO corrupted.

deja vu engineer

today I made the same mistake! I tried to be perfect, correcting wrong things. and I might fall in the same trap. I've denounced ethic not long ago and may be I should stick to that. let the works belong to others be forever theirs! don't be an ethical engineer. forget it and live with it!

engineers and engineers

today there was a meeting in which all participants were engineers. everything started when an engineer kept on sending e-mail about an issue he didn't really understand. it was in the meeting that he admitted that he didn't understand the problem. so the whole bunch of engineers argued on a wrong premise. what a joke! in addition to that one of the managers even admitted he too didn't understand the problem. it's such a happy life of engineers!

a doctor and an engineer

last two weeks my family and I went for a holiday at my uncle's place. he's an obstetrics and gynaecology (O&G) consultant. we talked about everything. at one point he told about his IVF's lab. one thing that I really understood was when he's telling that the lab lack of air pressure control system. I explained to him that the system is not so complicated. but his replied really showed his professionalism: he believed that the engineering department knows better. 


but I wonder if that's the case, why the engineering team didn't start to do something? perhaps it's because of money. but that's the case, what is engineering is for?

101 Creative Problem Solving Techniques, James M Higgins

currently I'm reading this book. there's a phrase which captured my attention most: 'INNOVATE OR EVAPORATE'. certainly true! the author gave several examples of corporations surviving a rough sea through innovation. even giant corporations need to innovate.

this brought me back to when I was working in a competition-less environment work place. I tried to innovate but to no avail. may be because of the environment. nevertheless the clients were all unhappy and liked to see us changed. there was a 'blue ocean' movement in the office. they argued "let us changed and make our competitiors (complainants) irrelevant".

they were right in that sense. but by ignoring the very essence of service that we were supposedly to deliver, we were actually made our self irrelevant. we were blind then...

celebrating the difference

once again adults had to learn from children. last week I went to see my children's teachers to discuss on their development. the discussion seemed to go nowhere when suddenly I remember that individuals are different. we should celebrate and appreciate these differences. these differences give colour and flavour to our society. it is humanistic and real.

come on world, respect the differences!

the commoner and the railway

today I went to have a lunch at a small railway station. I took some fruits and cakes as my lunch. then I ordered a cup of tea from an old lady who was doing dish washing. while making my tea, she commented to a piece of news on the radio. she commented how lucky a person referred to on the news. she narrated how difficult her life started as a children of a big, poor family. then as a poor widow. nevertheless the support that she entitle as a people in a civilised society has never been given to her.

I love to be around people whose live revolve around railway economic circle. you always can find a story about human. not about things. when I back to the office that afternoon, again I faced the people who kept on talking about things. things do not make people happy, it's human being.

discipline

how long has it since my last posting... there's a lot of thing I want to share but I couldn't find a perfect time to write. I love to write. I hope that I could bring myself to overcome whatever reason that stop me from writing. I must write...

1001 Arabian Nights - superficial

when I was a kid, 1001 Arabian Nights story was one of my favourites. among the many stories, there is one particular that I'm repeatedly keep on telling to my kids.

the story is about one wise king's aide. one day he got an invitation to a wedding party. on that particular day, he went to the party dressing moderately. everyone ignored him. he went back home and changed into his best attire. he went back to the same party and no surprised, everybody is now wanted to be with him. the punch line in the story was that, he started to pouring foods and drinks into his dress. when asked he answered "I was here before but no body noticed me. but when I came back with a better attire, everybody wanted to be with me. it's not me who you want to be with, but my attire.so let the dress get the foods".

understand, everyone?

silence

it has been quiet sometimes since my last post. in the middle the earth once again crossed a point in the space where it last crossed a year ago. so much has been talked and wrote about the yesteryear. but the past cannot be amended even it certainly affecting the future. welcome to the future...