silence

it has been quiet sometimes since my last post. in the middle the earth once again crossed a point in the space where it last crossed a year ago. so much has been talked and wrote about the yesteryear. but the past cannot be amended even it certainly affecting the future. welcome to the future...

comment vs complaint

yesterday I went to have dinner with friends. my food was not so tasty, so I gave my sincere comment to the owner while we're paying the dish. to my shocked, her face turned to 'very unhappy'. even at that point of time she was to receive the money. couldn't she differentiate the 'humiliating' comment and sincere comment? nothing in my comment could be misunderstood as 'complaint'. what happened to maxim 'customer is always right'?

water

above is the picture of a river. the location of the lake is in the one of the less populous state in our country. but already there were several water shortages incidents in several of our states including the second smallest state. I still remember a river in my village which was crystal clear. you can still catch that kind of scenery but you'll need to get to the upper stream of the river. the very important aspect of our life, water, is rapidly polluted and depleted by no others but us.

greatness

“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.”


-T Alan Amstrong


Who's the hell is T Alan Amstrong? just google it!


today I got one very miserable news and two great news. the bad news is I'm going to be without work, I'm going to bite the dust longer than I thought. I might as well finally fell into bottomless pit. this is very bad indeed.


today also I received the monthly magazine from my engineering society, the biggest of it kind in my country. the topic of the month is 'risk management in engineering'. my God, my believe in risk management exists in engineering field is once again proven to be correct. I hope three of people who laugh at me during my presentation on applying the risk management in then our engineering department can now bite their dust. they must. they get the same copy as I am because they belong to the same fraternity. but wait, they must be keep on laughing because they're clown.


late today my kids came back from home and told me about their mid-term result. they are so improved from last year when I was working very far away from home. I'm now ever believe that the decision to move back home is correct.


so I'm great. but I've no job that I don't know for how long more I can exist. I've already partially lost my car now, so what next will I have from the Pandora box? my life so far has already defies what ever Alan Armstrong feel.

performance assessment, '360 Degree Feedback, The Powerful New Model for Employee Assessment & Performance Improvement', by Mark R Edwards and Ann J Ewen

currently I'm reading a book entitled '360 degree feedback, the powerful new model for employee assessment & performance improvement', by Mark R Edwards and Ann J Ewen. the book was published in 1996. I read this book because my friend who is working with a government agency told me that they might be using the system.

under the scheme, an employees  will be assessed not only by his supervisor but also his peers, customers, himself etc. in 2006 or 2007, I was experimenting with that kind of system. as a head of unit, I chaired the assessment sessions which also comprised the employee and his direct supervisor and supervisor's supervisor. we talked frankly about the employee performance. in my hand I also had the data on the employee achievement for that year. on top of that, I also gave the employee the chance to rate his/ her peers.

I got the idea of doing that from all the reality shows on TV, particularly 'The Apprentice'. now that I've read the book, I'm feeling great. not that the system is perfect that I'm actually can do or think something. I've always complained that the current system of appraisal was non-objective, that the supervisors tend to remember one or two events (good or bad) of that year and that is it. I'm great!

but who cares? I'm jobless now.

GREENHOUSE GAS RELEASED: 0.117 kg

project management

picture above is a product of a public project. even though it's not big but still it need some project management.

I worked in a large organisation for more than 10 years. my department managing both the facility and project for the organisation. a year after joined the organisation I had the opportunity to get involved in a hundred million facility development. the next two years was like a crash course in project management for me. I was proud. then I grew up and learnt...

two years ago I switched to other large organisation specialising in project management. here I had my proud shredded into pieces when I really 'exposed' what was project management. I spent my life there more then a year and I felt like going to an open university. I started to thinking why my previous organisation was lacked in understanding the concept and implementation of project management. this was despite the department was headed by an all-know director and assisted by an all-know deputy. and we also had two of the engineers with Master degree in Project Management, one with MBA and a score of certified professionals.

may be I can enroll into project management post grad course and make a study on the issue.

GREENHOUSE GAS RELEASED: 0.117 kg

risk

this is the first home-made bread ever tried by my wife (about a month ago). she just tried it out from a recipe. the result: nice bread. there were enough bread for three days and they're still good.

about 4 or 5 years ago, I stumbled with the words of 'risk management' while looking for jobs in newspaper. so I read more about the subject. in my opinion if it is really practised in financial sector why not in construction. in construction we (architects, engineers) have to handle not only the financial aspect of it but also the built environment and contract not to mention project management.

so being as innocent as I can, I proposed it in my department's meeting (of course chaired by the all-know head of department, HOD). I explained my logic and concept that we're not running from risk but to understand and to manage the risk. after none of the members commented, the HOD turned to one senior officer who did attend the risk management course previously. he comically replied he didn't know anything. the meeting burst into a laughing contest. I was stunned! did I propose something wrong.

the answer came 2 years ago when I joint a big government company which oversee a very large development area. yes, risk management is very well alive in the construction industry. the Project Management Institute even have the concept in its famous 'project management body of knowledge' (PMBOK). and there are a lot of books on the topic in construction industry. I'm satisfied that I'm right.

listen to the song 'return to innocent' by Enigma. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-Hwc54UVbM

GREENHOUSE GAS RELEASED: 0.2 kg

listening, '8 Barriers to Communication & How to Overcome Them' by Kevin Hogan and Ron Stubbs

above is a picture of a cassette player courtesy by getty image. once I had that kind of player. my friends and I love to listen to it. we listened to all sort of music from death metal to richard marx. we also listened to political and sports event broadcast by radio station. yea, we listened.

right now I'm reading a book by Kevin Hogan and Ron Stubbs, '8 Barriers to Communication & How to Overcome Them'. one of the chapters, 'the forgotten art of listening', they write about the different of 'listening' and 'hear' and about 'already always know' person: the person who always cut in while we're talking and they give their own version of OUR ideas/ stories.

frankly though I developed a love to read books for the past a decade or two, I never like to read about communication, psychology, motivational and the likes. not until recently. if only I read those books earlier... ok, back to the topic. 

we had this deputy director whose style of communication exactly resembles the 'already always know'. try give out ideas and all you get is "we've already think about it" before you can finish you words. at one time (during a discussion on legal electrical matters) I was so sick of his style I had to say "look, I'm a professional  electrical engineer and I'm also doing an exam in legal-related for electrical engineer. and if you don't trust me let me get a copy of the (Electrical) Act now". I felt disgusted. at the other point of time when he expressed his demoralise due to lack of participation from other meeting members, I stood up and said "it's only once and you feel to back down. we've been all the while have to talk to you with your ...... style of communicating". it's really bad. I wish I read books on communication earlier...

I read that World War I was a product of, among others, miscommunication! http://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/database/article_display.cfm?HHID=524

GREENHOUSE GAS RELEASED: 0.2 kg

belief, 'The Fearless Executive - Finding the Courage to trust Your Talents and Be the Leader You Are Meant to Be', Alan Downs

last Saturday my family & I went to this nice park by a river. We brought two bicycles along so that my kids can ride and have fun. it was raining before we arrived so the condition is fresh. while on the way to go home, I noticed the lamp post in the picture. the park was opened to public about 4 or 5 years ago. so I suspect that the lamp post has been there ever since, giving its service.

I left my jobs because of belief (the other word for principle). not religious belief, but professional belief. some says I'm "stupid", "wait for your turn", "don't expect perfection" etc but for me it was a plain principle. if I believe the situation is not conform to my system of belief, which I'm pretty sure right, than what else. 

last year I read a book entitled 'The Fearless Executive - Finding the Courage to Trust Your Talents and Be the Leader You Are Meant to Be'. the author wrote that he was a highly successful HR manager but he quit his job because of something about principle. but he advised other people not to follow his step. however at that point of time, I found my self done the same thing that Alan Downs advised not to do.

in one incident or example about principle, I was accused of breaking the team spirit only because I'm promoting (actually urging) a system in which every unit in the organisation need to play their part 'actively'! (later I was actually forced the idea to go on unilaterally without the consent of the organisation. why should I stopped if the idea is right?)

may be the system of belief is not as important? or may be only a 'selective' system of belief is important?

to believe or not to believe. it's your choice.

paradox

for two days i've been absent from the cyber world. reason? i got an acute tooth ache! i was just 'pampered' my self in a sofa watching what was going on in my country and around the world. up to this point of time, i think every one has already built their mind on the Japanese disastrous natural and man made events, and also foreign forces action in Libya. And back in my country, political events are becoming daily news menu. really i mean every day news feed.

then i have this feeling that any of us in this world is commoner! one day we're the master and the other day we roll down to the commoner level. Japanese may be a master of technology but nothing to the natural wrath. and know what, they are now racing against time to undo wreckage done on their own (nuclear) technology! we create weapon as means to protect humanity against tyranny and we are also the one who will destroy humanity with those weapons! what a paradox!

once i used the word 'paradox' to describe certain conflicting directions in my previous organisation to my boss. he agreed very much but he said we could do only this much. of course that statement dismayed me because as an organisation which stood on some sort of regulations, something must be done. justice must prevail! after all human being have 'perseverance' concept fixed in their soul. we live by that concept, i explained. then i realised that indeed what my boss said was true. we cannot beat our superior and i concluded that we are just commoner.

but is it? just imagine that i had to face the height of pain with my tooth ache, deterministic, and finally the feeling diminished. i took some time but i won. but in the other part of the time as a commoner i lose out. take into consideration the fact that i'm jobless now.

paradox?

unemployed

this is my second day without job. it' hard. nevertheless i keep on searching for money so that i can keep on paying those bills, loans, meals... my kids. i love them very much that i must strive to give them a good life, good education. i pray that they should never ever follow my hard life path. i hope that they will be able to chose a career that suit them most, do what they like most. for me, i'm stuck here with 'my' past mistake of choice.

it's very common 20 years ago (1980s), in my country, that commoners don't have that knowledge of choosing. believe me, that by the age of 17 i still could not appreciate the meaning of 'diploma' or 'degree'. i was sort of love, at that time, to get involve in something that have to do with computer, physics or architecture, or even agriculture. but the remarks a got from my family was "physics? are you going to be a physics teacher?" and "architecture? it is a recession now, you won't get a job". for agriculture, it was a big no-no. there was not enough information where actually those fields that i like can bring me in my life.

i still remember that when it came to chose for university courses, i looked at ads showing 'computer science integration'. integration? what the meaning of that word (later i found that it means a diploma program that come with the opportunity to degree level)? then i went for the interview for 'bachelor in computer science with education' (most of my family are teachers, my father too). later i found that the course trained people to be a teacher. i'm not interested so i just told the interview that i'm not going to be a teacher.

i was later found my self doing electrical engineering! it was the topic that i did badly in my physics subject! during the study i was actually told to do 'x-ray course' sponsored by the government so that i can get a job easily. i resisted, got some advice from my lecturer (whom of course, had more knowledge; she was no commoner) and stayed. nevertheless i studied electricity, graduated and work as an electrical engineer. and know what, for the last 4 years i am a licensed, professional electrical engineer. is it an accomplishment? but being an engineer, i need to work as engineer (is it true?). so i have been in the maintenance, facility management, project management, design, contract management, safety & health, resources (machines, human, finance) management etc. some where in time i excelled and rewarded but satisfied? where is physics, architecture, agriculture?

is it important that people need to work (or live) in the field they interested most? i believe it is. one day i watched this episode in national geographic about marine life. there was a marine biologist doing the talk about the thing. i've forgotten all the things that she said except that she told she had been interested in marine study from her childhood. i couldn't imagine i'm working in a field which i interested most. i can't imagine because i've never been there yet.

today, i'm out of the job, i'm still a commoner.